What's in a LinkedIn Title?

When I graduated from college in May (this is the first of many reminders to every imaginary hiring manager reading this that I'm still on the job market) I was worried about the state of my LinkedIn profile. I am no longer an intern, but not yet a working woman.

But like most small-ish problems in life, I knew that if this went ignored, it could manifest itself into a giant pain in the ass. So I thought to myself, "How will I be able to spin my unemployment into sounding productive?" Needless to say, I lost momentum rather quickly and found myself at the edge of what some would call an existential crisis?

Here's an #unfiltered manuscript of my inner dialogue as I sifted through my options:

1. Recent College Grad Seeking [desired job here] Position With Good Enough Perks to Make Up for Having to Live at Home for the Rest of Her Twenties

2. Digital Content Creator with a Year and a Half Worth of Work Experience All of Which Include Internships

3. Creative Writer with Just Enough Self-Doubt to Stop Her From Actually Sending All of Those Pitch Emails in Her Drafts Box

4. 22 Year Old Woman Who is Coming Uncomfortably Close to Working at Parent's Diner Forever

5. Hire Me While I'm Still Motivated to Chase My Ubiquitous Dreams